First off, calling the iPad an E-reader is idiotic at best. E-ink mimics a real book in just about every way, except resolution (150 vs. 300+). An iPad’s LCD display mimics a book as much as netbooks or TVs do. Should a book be read or watched?

Many believe that the iPad is naturally superior because it is more versatile, being able to watch movies, browse the interweb, check email, play Angry Birds, and it is more expensive, so it has to be better. Most of these people jerk off to famous hot chicks rather than the comely chick who frequents the laundry-mat down the street who is just attractive enough to fuel two or three years worth of masturbatory fantasies, but far too hot to actually approach, engage in conversation, respond to an invitation to a roll in the sack, and leave utterly disappointed. so, how the fuck would these pieces of shit know anything about technology. If one needs a device to actually read (and I mean read books and shit) the kindle is far superior to the iPad. If a user needs to check his fantasy football league, so that he may reassert his heterosexuality to a group of men who also wish to assert their heterosexuality while talking about watching other sweaty men run, grab, and roll over each other like greco-roman foreplay, the the iPad might be for you. The kindle is for people who read books. Not people who read magazines, newspapers, or the little announcements given out at all of the funerals for the many friends who died from AIDS. If you don’t read books, then you will never understand how a Kindle could be a superior e-Reader. You will also spend your life living in ignorance and never really able to understand things such as how a bill becomes a law.

Yes, an iPad has color, can do motion, and has a touch screen, “features that the Kindle does not have.” Apparently children need color, presentations are useful only if they are in color, it is backlit, and books should have animations as well. The kindle does have a web-browser and a connection to Al Gore’s World Wide Web via Wifi or free 3G goodness. It is far less functional than a browser on the average computer and the iPad. The Kindle can play audio books and MP3s, but it is easier to select a song on an eight-track than on the Kindle’s MP3 player. What about the features a Kindle has that an iPad doesn’t? Need help with this? First, text looks better on a kindle because it is E-ink. Vector images designed to be printed in black and white look fucking awesome. Books, strangely enough, lack a touch screen, so of course a device designed to mimic a book would lack a touch screen. The kindle is not back lit, but it is, again, mimicking a fucking book, which traditionally are quite lacking in back-lightening as well. Free 3G is kinda cool. A two to four week batter life is slightly better than an eight hour battery life.

Speaking of battery life, here is a hippy fact. Within one year of ownership, the Kindle will pay for its manufacture in energy costs verses consuming the same amount of content on traditional printed material. Since the iPad consumes about seventy times the amount of power to read the same content as a Kindle, it will never be a green alternative to the Kindle, much less traditional print material. If you use an iPad as an e-Reader over the Kindle, you are shitting on the environment. If you shit on the environment, you hate trees. If you hate trees, then you hate puppies. Buy a Kindle or you killed a dog.

The iPad is much larger than the standard Kindle (though it is smaller than the DX, but the Dx poans). For some users, the convenience of keeping the Kindle in a purse or bag and having it readily available, makes the Kindle infinitely useful. (Note, some users carry purses or bags large enough to fit several iPads, but they have giners, so, how would this not be a game killer for others?) In the realm of portability, the newer Android devices and the iPhone would make for much better Kindle killers than the larger iPad ever would.

As for this new study, ChangeWave did a study between Kindle and iPad owners over the past several months. The first part discusses how Amazon’s Kindle is loosing market share to Apple’s iPad. According to these numbers, the Kindle is falling way behind, despite the record sales of the new Kindle 2 in the past several months. How can this happen? The answer is somewhat easy, all Kindles are e-Readers, but not all iPads are e-Readers. If the number of sales of kindles is compared to all of the sales of iPads, and the iPad sells far greater numbers due to its attraction to the cock-hungry, then it will appear that the iPad is gaining market share. It would be better to compare the number of hours spent reading on each device or even better to compare the number of books consumed on each device than comparing apples to oranges. The second part compares the satisfaction users had with their purchases. I believe that the discrepancy in the numbers can be reflected by the number of individuals who bought a Kindle because they thought that the mere purchase of the device would either make them smarter or make them look smarter. the rest of it rattles on about expected holiday sales.

Basically, the Kindle is for two types of people, those intelligent enough to be interested in learning and want a way to remove books from the living quarters and have ready access to the majority of a personal library and for women who read crappy, cotton-candy for the mind Romance novels. The iPad is also for two types of people, those who want a portable computing device featuring a display with rather dated technology (the LCD is nearing the end of its life-cycle while Eink is in its infancy, but for a display that combines most of the best qualities of both, except for the tremendous energy savings that Eink provides, just look at Apple’s new iPhone 4) and the latent-homosexuals who wish nothing more than to be accepted by other hetero-posing breeders.

A word on the new Nook Color and other possible competition with Amazon. With access to root (sudo), the new Nook Color might make for a nifty little tablet device. However, buying a Nook Color as an e-Reader over any device with Eink is like gut-fucking, when you’re done with the transaction you just feel empty inside and no matter how hot going to town inside of a slowly dieing piece of fuck meat might be, plowing into giner is better and tighter.

Amazon’s real competition will come from Google’s announcement of Google Editions. I have recently fallen in love with Google. From the cloud computing of Google Docs to the awesomeness that is the Android OS, Google has begun to make me feel about computing the way Apple has told me to feel for the last twenty years. When a purpose-built device with Eink appears, amazon will be doomed.

B&N played it smart by aiming for the same hetro audiences that plunk  down cash to see a Michael Bay movie by making the Nook more badass, social, and compatible. They drastically cranked up the “eBook badass dial” to eleven. The Nook has a secondary screen that allows users to scroll through book covers ala iTunes. Sure, the Kindle has a keyboard, but that is only for people who like functionality. As everyone knows, the target audience for badass things like Michael Bay movies reads voraciously, so B&N will make a killing.

The Nook has taken new steps twaords making the eReader experience more social. Those with kindles know that reading in public leads to spending almost as much time talking about the Kindle as reading it. Amazon just doesn’t do brick and mortar, but since the money is in the content, basing a store on selling the Kindle hardware and limited accessories is about as smart as putting a battery-draining LCD on an eReader so that users can squint and barely distinguish titles with similar covers. The Nook, however, has a book sharing feature that lets users loan out books to others. This feature is not only cool, but rather necessary. Because the initial launch of the Nook has a rather long load time for books, this gives users the ability to discuss which books another might wish to borrow.

Quite unlike the Kindle, the Nook supports the more common eBook formats, such as ePub, in exchange for the proprietary formats than Amazon’s Kindle forces users to adapt to, such as TXT.

One area that Amazon has decided is a priority to gain an edge in the competition is full support for the seeing impaired. No longer will the blind be forced to wander through the Kindle’s muted interface. In the not too distant future (looks like summer), the Kindle with receive an option to navigate through its menus audibly. Jumping on this bandwagon of making products accessible to the visually impaired are Ford and Colt Firearms. Looks like next rear will be great year to read at home, away from streets, and blind people driving cars.

One look at Alan Kaufman’s The Electronic Book Burning pisses me off. Fags like this are more in love with the fag-book-coffee-small-business-book-store-ass-pirate culture. First, anyone who wants to rant about the demise of the fag-book-coffee-small-business-book-store-ass-pirate culture and wants his argument to be taken as a serious, intellectual, hetro, and broad criticism of the eBook, should not write about the demise of book stores in San Francisco. Second, remember to close the fucking center tag so that you’re shit doesn’t have two paragraphs of left-aligned text followed by the rest of the page centered. Third, the horizontal bars that simulate a growing fire are awesome, keep that. Fourth, go fuck yourself.

The eBooks are not about a single entity (Google) controlling electronic content. The new media is not a cultural change. For fuck’s sake, how many people bitched about the demise of the community and university library when the sum total of all human knowledge became available to every household able to afford the baud? The world will become free of its paper anchor. Anyone will be able to publish anything from anywhere. The value of authorship is in the creation of the content, not the media the content is delivered.

For the love of god, these book-loving Neanderthals cry about the loss of a book’s tactile sense, the smell of old paper, and the taste of some dude’s dick they met at fag-book-coffee-small-business-book-store-ass-pirate club meeting. The way these pieces of shit cry about longing for the smell of a worn book reminds me of a Japanese pervert who buys used panties from  a vending machine so that he can get an erection while watching two cosplay ducks dry-hump in a park surrounded by people throwing pickle-chips.

Did we cry when we lost the warm smile of the milkman in favor of purchasing milk from a market? Who bitched when modern refrigeration became installed in American households and we lost the companionship of the iceman? What about the automation that did away with the friendly Ma Bell operator? What about the smell and feel of a horse lost to the adoption of the automobile? How about the nostalgia felt for stone in the age of iron? How about the loss of the scroll? Who the fuck doesn’t miss the days when college students hauled around a semester’s worth of baked clay tablets prominently featuring all to the wedges necessary to facilitate each course’s required consumption of knowledge?

In short, fuck off.

I love my Kindle 2. It is the best piece of technology that I have ever acquired. The home computer brought computing into the house, but it didn’t radically alter life. The Internet, however, completely changed the way a large portion of the population lived and interacted with each other. I still see the interweb as a research tool. Many of my generation, see the Internet as a communications tool. In truth, this is because they are ignorant savages bereft of intelligence. With the research tools available today, there is no need to ask anyone a question ever unless there is a lack of documentation, the person asking doesn’t know how to use the internee, or the person asking the question if a fucking re-re. Most of the ‘tards of my generation are as clueless as how technology works as my parents.

What I am trying to say is that as much as the interweb changed the lives of my generation from that of our parents, the Kindle has changed my life. I always have it on me. I used to keep a notebook listing books referenced by other books that I would look at and/or acquire at a later time. Now I just switch on the wireless and grab the book in question. Reading a normal book has begun to piss me off because it requires both hands to turn the page. The kindle is a fantastic piece of hardware. The hardware is elegant in every way and well thought out. Which begs the question, why the fuck is the software so shitty.

Why can I not let other users borrow books yet. This should have been there from the get-go. Native PDF capability should have been there at launch as well. i am a graphic artist and I can convert from any type of format to any other type of format. Anyone in my generation who doesn’t have their head crammed way up their ass distracted with sports and finding the latest bit of ass could convert a PDF into any other type of format. So, Amazon added the PDF capability for the fucking idiots who can’t get their shit together. The biggest sin in the Kindle software is the list. The inability to organize 1K+ books by topic or directory if fucking retarded. It made since in the original Kindle with that damn scroll wheel on the side, but with the Kindle 2, it makes as much since as running an Alienware system with OS/2.

So, yeah, the patch is nice, but for the fucking love of God, fix your broken shit.